Thank You

"To be loved is a privilege, that's what I was told/ A gem from my man LS, more precious than gold"--Jin, Thank You

I guess this quote should be credited to LS (Christopher Louie, one of Jin's friends and also a rapper, took a bullet for Jin fired by G-Kay, a jealous rival rapper, former Ghost Shadow, and one of my friend's cousins). But either way, it is a good and true quote. To be loved is a privilege. If one of the people breaks the trust or betrays the love, then the privilege is gone. Everyone wants to be loved. Am I loved? I am happy to say, although maybe I'm not the most popular person, my friends don't call me as much as I wish they did, and we don't hang out much, and I don't have a nice sweet girlfriend like I dream of, I am. Because, although my friends may be few, they are great. I'm lucky enough to have not one or two, but already three very close friends who I have known for years, and although we are scattered across Los Angeles and New York, we are still close. And I know that they never forgot about me, and I never forgot about them. And, I've been trying to return the favor, and love others. I try to take an interest in people, care about them, and do whatever I can whenever I can to help. I won't lie, I want everything in return, but I'm used to getting nothing, so if that happens I won't be too bothered. But, it's hard when you try to talk to somebody and they just push you away. Tell you nothing. However, I will always remember and cherish my closest friends, ones that have returned the favor and trusted me, given me their sincerest friendship. You know who you are.
If anyone ever wants to just talk, about anything at all, I will still be here. Trust me, I won't laugh at you or tell anybody your secrets. It doesn't matter if I like you or not. Although, if I don't like you and you try to talk to me and I call you a faggot or something at first, please forgive me.
Anyway. yeah. Thanks to everyone who loves me. And welcome to anyone who wants my friendship. One love.





...God, that was a really gay post.

IMPACT

Ayo guys... Join IMPACT with me. It's tight. Pick up a form in the office; due date is before next Friday. Call me for more info 9096383388
im out suckazz


NaS...!
One love to NYC.. (718) and (212) represent.

I'm a Hustler

"Here's the jewel: love your enemies and hate your friends.. your friends always change, your enemies stay the same"
--50 Cent, I'm a Hustler

50 Cent isn't exactly the best person to take advice from. His lyrics aren't exactly deep either. But in his early songs and albums, he was one of the best. This quote is, I guess you could say, an exaggeration of the truth.
Love your enemies. True. You should love your enemies.. there's some Christian reason I'm sure, but the Buddhist reason is that they take away your bad karma every time they insult you or attack you. And, they're good practice for dealing with people. Also, if you treat them with love, they may turn into friends.
Hate your friends. Why would you hate your friends? In reality, my view is that you should make the most of friendship while you can, but not expect it to last forever. Sadly, friendships always change. Nothing is permanent. Cause in the end, what's it all worth? The memories... the photographs... they just bring pain when the friendship is over. Maybe I should consider myself lucky not to have a lot of good friends right now. But instead, I'm just self-pitying...
Your friends always change. Spot on.
Your enemies stay the same. Not exactly. I've had a lot of enemies that I've either been able to turn into friends, or we've both been away from each other long enough to forgive & forget. Or maybe I just haven't had any real enemies...

Art center went ok... our city is burning yet again, and closer this time... Walnut is boring as ever...
 
2-liters of Brisk iced green tea do a damn good job keeping you awake.. I slept like an hour and a half this morning (4:30--6) and I'm still wide awake.
Anyway.. I'm out guys... one love

^_^

Another good day :D
The morning was ok... normal...
Lunch was really fun ^_^
Like everyone I know was studying for Chem test in Lim's room. Except Nicole ): WHY NO NICOLE? D:
But I had fun studying with Max, Joan, Shivani, and Iris :D
And it was helpful.. if I hadn't gone I probably wouldn't have gotten an [estimated] A on the test ^_^
Also I found out I have the 3rd highest grade overall now :D
I've like NEVER had a top-5 grade in an honors class... usually it's more like 8th or 15th or 20th.
oh yeah, and I brought pomegranates for lunch and everyone loved them ^_^
seriously if anyone wants any just ask, ill give you some :D
And Shivani gave me some cool chocolate from England called Flake... I gotta get me some of that xD It was good.. thanks (:
Gallagher out x]
off to art center... ill try to put photos on facebook yall
but if i dont, ill have them on my phone.

>.<

omfgness.
Mohamed's being gay/annoying, there's a chem test tomorrow that I'm actually WORRIED about (I never worry about tests), I still have to do the trendboard for Saturday High, and... ohhh crap I have to print a banner too.. And I have a Chinese project, and an English project and... to quote Rea, "aoreighaisasero" or something along those lines, anyway.
On the good side?
I had a nice talk with Angela Wang today... I learned some things and... well, talking to people like that.. it's nice(: I guess she trusts me, and nobody's ever been stupid enough.. erm, kind enough to really trust me. Except my best friends. But yeah.
I also got to have lunch in Mr. Lim's room with Joan, doing chem homework again xD.. which is similar to the day when we became friends... and Jallal actually called me, and kept wanting me to talk to him. Frankly, it was kinda annoying, but I felt really happy knowing that he actually wanted to like talk to me and tell me stuff, you know?
I don't really have a lot of great friends in Walnut, and all my reallly good friends live far away... but maybe it's getting better(:
*sigh* All I really want is a little love.. that goes a long way. And I'm trying, myself, to be a better person too. Like, in Math Analysis I saw Eric So get books and papers for people, and I started doing it too.. and I think they noticed and appreciate it. And I'm trying to smile more, be more friendly.
I don't have a good reputation.. but that can always be changedd. And who cares about reputation if they can find a group of really good friends?
I don't have a group... I want one...
Then again, I also want money, a job, a girlfriend, a car, and a license... but that ain't happenin anytime soon. =.=

I've got a lot of work to do... but one last thing.
I appreciate the hard times I've been through, and believe me, there have been a lot of them.  They've taught me a lot. I mean, I used to fight with my mom many times a day, my dad would work the late shift and I didn't see him much, I'd have to stay up until 2 or 3 AM arguing with my mom about homework, and at one point when our house was under construction my whole family was living in the basement and eating pb&j every day, every meal. Which explains why I'm not all that fond of it. My mom even walked miles through snow once because my dad was at work and the car was broken... only to get yelled at by some car mechanic (i think)... with me on her back. That was in Levittown... before '96...
believe me when I say 3 feet of snow is not fun to walk thorough
But if that' not dedication and love, what the hell is?
So yeah, I've lived through hell... yeah, my heart still bleeds every moment... but I don't regret it, and while I miss it, I don't realllly wanna go back.

I don't know wtf I'm talking about hahaha...
But if you wanna talk, please don't hesitate to talk to me. I'll be there for anyone who comes to me from the heart.
One love...

I've been INSPIREDD

Hello, my dear visitor. If you are reading this, I freaking love you. Because obviously, that means you care.
So um. Nicole Pwn-slang... aka E.Coli... aka... um a lot of other names xD... anyway her awesome blog inspired me to start posting on this one again. But, I honestly don't know what to put...

6th grade friend from my block in NYC is turning into a retarded gangster person... =.=
Kevin Luu, one of my best friends, in Arcadia, is being emo...
But MY life is pretty good :D
I have (relatively.. at least compared to the last 4 years) great grades (which I'm really stressed trying to keep up :o )... Art center's going ok, even if Tony IS a freaking asshole.. well he's still a good teacher. And we do really cool stuff.
Just remember this.. I can draw better than you. =P
Well, that's not entirely true i guess.
But anyway.
And I love Mr Lim he's the awesomest teacher ever, and to make it better there's awesome people in my class! :DD
<3 you guys.. Joan Nicole Shivani Vivian Carey Ben etc...
As well as my other friends... Kevin Luu Jefferey Niu Ray Chen-Liang, Jallal Malik...

ONE LOVE!
I need to do a song on that.
The concept of 'one love'.

Speaking of songs, btw... I've taken the trouble of getting all my lyrics/poems and putting them here for your admiratio... erm, enjoyment(:

Newest at the bottom

Hero Remix--Vintage ft. Rogue (me)

[youtube]odiF3vO0-7I[/youtube]



Here's our remix of "Hero",originally by Nas

:23 Hook

its Vintage and Rogue,we stealin the throne/
grab the mic with a power of our own//
...we aint no caped crusaders,but u safe from danger whenever we touch the microphone//
yeah..we keep it under control,we keep it under control//
you could call us sum heroes//
yeah i guess we sum heroes//

Verse 1: (Vintage)..:43

its been 15 years since I came to this earth//
Ive seen the game change to chains and long shirts//
rap isnt about the verse anymore//
its a curse,and if they curse anymore,//
ima hurt many more...it dont work//
so I throw the cape on,enemies I take on//
drop a bomb every time I make songs//
cuz I just cant help myself,I take action//
dont become one of the plagued rappers that I take captive//

Hook

Verse 2: (Vintage) 1:24

lets take a journey through the mind of the man//
with the power to design or disguise what I am//
Am I really so great,or ami really a villain//
cuz sometimes I feel hate and have thoughts of killin'//
but I keep myself straight, never hit the ceilin'//
my thoughts,I orchestrate,call me Mr. Brilliant//
I was never the guy to hit the books,Im too fly//
I see no reason to sit down and study this blah blah//
so I fly thru the sky and I save the planet//
the game is a universe,we just all here stranded//
tryna feel our way around and do how we planned it//
but its never that easy, we watch our schemes vanish//
I say theres no yield for the Batmobile//
life is an open road,flames burst from the wheels//
blazin outta control,got the devil on my heels//
for real,sometimes we overpower our own shield//

Hook

Verse 3: (Rogue) 2:25

another section, with the same questions,
flow like they read the same textbook
videos with the same projection
and an insanely plain selection
of money, bitches, and hoes,
dummies with liquor and clothes
speakers bumpin bout spinnas and chrome
i can’t take the shit anymo'
but its impossible to escape
so instead i make haste
to be braced for a taste
of when real rap takes place
hip-hop never died,
it was buried alive
which means if you dig deep enough you can find
true g’s with the NY State of Mind
paintin a vivid picture,
even if you get robbed of your eyes
you’ll see it inside
and im proud to be among their ranks,
saved from being a zero
so i wanna share thanks
cause in school or movin kilos
to everyone on the grind,
....you’re a motherfuckin hero








Battlegrounds (Jallal Malik and me) (written by me)

[Jallal]
These children-stay-cryin cuz they villains-aint-dyin
And the superman can’t save em all, cuz sometimes he aint even lookin-or-tryin
In these pans of worldly hell, people are cookin-n-fryin
The third worlds, people don’t care bout the killin-n-violence
like Africa, niggaz can’t afford AK’s so they grip-the-machete
And in the 'hood, niggaz get pissed off and people get hit-with-the-semi
Like these kids-weren’t-ready, doin unspeakable-acts,
much worse than an underaged sip-of-the-henny
But I’m preachin-the-facts, keepin' my people-on-track,
No matter what they say cuz these evils-is-wack
What’s up with racism, and cats kickin the fake-rhythm?
Thinkin that we strapped with bombs and gon blow ya face in?
Tutsis-and-Hutus civil warrin for the government’s-power
People starvin-to-death, take up arms-'fore-they-rest,
and even the few graves they made aint covered-in-flowers

[Hook]

[Rogue] (me)
(Queens!)
(unh!) back in the day, I wasn’t likin-rap
The women degraded, I was like 'why aint they fightin-back?'
Why would you follow the hype-with-that?
And I was like 'who could like this? the writin’s-wack!'
I grew-up-in-Queens, so I could’ve blew-up-my-dreams
But I stopped myself, clocked myself though I knew-some-of them-fiends
While they pops preachin, moms teachin, they out in the streets dealin
Like if they knew of ya reasons, wouldn’t they both be weepin?
And it’s unforgivable, the unforgettable-violence
It’s too regrettable, the blue-and-red-devils'-sirens
I knew dealers, I knew killers and I knew buyers
I knew gangstas, knew wankstas, and was a liar
Ever since I got mugged, I’m 'packin' steel' like I’m 'back-in-the-foundry',  
Gotta be careful cuz these kidsll sell you crack-in-their-brownies
And there’s always desperate-kids, reckless-and,
Wantin to jack-all-your-bounty, all over the back-of-the-county
And I know a guy whose cousin in the Ghost-Shadows
Got booked for shootin-at-Jin cuz of the mood-that-he-in when he choked-battles
Matter-of-fact, each of my best friends is a batter-at-bat
With two strikes, one more and we’re all blasted back-to-the-track
Ever since the Wendy’s-massacre, Flushing ain’t-been-the-same
It’s late-in-the-game, and I’m so hot I can taste-all-the-flames
So many people-died, it’s a shame, cuz even evil-cries
How you think the kid at Columbine didn’t hesitate to kill quick like eagle-dives?

[Hook]

[Jallal]
Yo, kids starvin in Africa [I’m sorry], can’t even afford insurance
On a car I can’t even buy [Ferrari] and no one offers assurance
And now in the 'hood, the world gettin' paranoid
All scared cuz they thinkin does he carry a glock
In his apartment, and is he carryin' rocks
In his glove compartment?
He packin? what’s that bulge in his pocket?
Is he gon start clappin? Is it a gat or does it fire rockets?
The fire starters, Them true terrorists, and liars, partner
Tryna get that haram money, they die in part for it
Unh! What’s wrong with society these days
If you move ya hand, they call SWAT, but still so many G’s slain
Kids gettin murdered and jacked, they aint turnin back
But worse kids doin it and caught in the act!
Now is history’s most tough times, and still,
I suck up rhymes like swallowin pills
This my vitamin, it can be your daily supplement
Centrum silver, cuz I resent you killers, and I wanna be done with this






Everytime we Touch remix
[Cascada]
Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
Everytime we kiss i swear i can fly
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, i want this to last
I need you by my side
Cause everytime we touch

[Rogue] (me)
Baby it may not seem like I’m a man for sweet-talkin/
Gotta keep my feet-walkin, gotta keep my skillz to speak-awesome/
But ride with me, and I’ma give you a treat-often/
And we can be together to the day we see-coffins/
My style is heaven-sent, but it takes two-to-toy/
And nothing is equivalent to your moods-of-joy/
If you’re happy, so-am-I, if you’re down, I wanna be showin-my/
Concern-for-you, I’ll freeze or burn-for-you/
Cross the Sahara just to learn-from-you/
Girl, you’re my godess, perfection in-my-eyes/
I wanna hold you close, even if I have to win-you-twice/
We belong next to each other, like 3-and-4/
So just gimme a chance, I wanna show you what I keep-in-store/

[Cascada]
Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
Everytime we kiss i swear i can fly
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, i want this to last
I need you by my side
Cause everytime we touch...







this is about of course me and one of my best friends kevin luu from arcadia hs... kinda a summary of the past 2 years... yeah life's still hard and everything but thank god we had somebody to help us make it through the hardest times.. saved our lives... im not saying i dont still need someone hahahaha XP
but yeah.. if it wasnt for the love wed be long gone... the love is gone but we're still here cause it got us past all the bullshit..

also, here's a quote from kevin which will probably find its way into my next verse/song:
"death is inevitable.. welcome it as a friend, and it can't be your enemy..."
damn, kid you need to send me your freaking poetry i could go for hours off that shit..


so here:

Sample from "How to Save a Life" by The Fray (which btw is a pretty good song)


Can't find an instrumental and am way too lazy and unskilled to make my own.

two young teenagers, delinquents in school
quick to fight, never thinkin of rules
but actions are consequential
they add up to repercussions that's monumental
failing half of the classes,
expulsion's a very real option
parents get mad on their asses
and beat them trying to stop them
but it only creates steady hate
and by this time the kids aren't featherweights
families rent apart by misunderstanding and apathy to elevate
they got no one, both share the same views
fuck life, if this is the way it made me and you?
let's run, rob and steal for food and get guns
live on the streets,
be stickup kids cause a kid gotta eat
thank god this never became a reality
thank god there was someone who knew [sample: how to save a life]
thank god they saw past the record and were willing [sample: to save a life]
thank god they recognized the good and could [sample: save a life]
saw past the bad and showed love, that's [sample: how to save a life]
see, if it wasn't for her, we'd be runnin away
thank god they found each other before it was too late
now she's out of his life, but life's not so bad now
there aint so much strife in his pad now
life still sucks, and life's still rough
but i keep hangin on, knowing that one day i might blow up
passing for the first time in 4 years, that's why on school days i show up
i hope i can return the favor, find somebody and [sample: save a life]
i hope somebody can see my heart and love me, and [sample: save a life]
one love... that's [sample: how to save a life]










As promised... my song... inspired by my man Kevin's poetry..

Beat is Necro — The Dispensation of Life & Death
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_NXuIiAir8

Postmortem.
Yo,
My man told me, “death is coming, inevitably,
So welcome it as a friend and it can’t kill you as an enemy”
That’s the truth, and it be
Words of wisdom, so when you sleep with fishes like anenomes
You better be leavin a straight legacy
Those words were eons ago, it’s been ages
Now I’m free on this flow, flip through a life’s worth of sick pages
filled with rhymes, survivin times controlled by governments and dictators
One love to the supporters, my sons and daughters, critics and even the bitch haters,
Cause you kept me goin forever, reachin to infinity
My mic, friends, and cars, that’s my holy trinity
Got me through life, through fights,
through strife, now I’m staring at a blue light
At the end of a long passage, lookin back and,
I see my history, illuminated dimly as if by the moonlight
Think of the people I left whip-creamed as if in a food fight
It’s all said and done, wish I could go back and do what’s right
What I wouldn’t give to start over from the top? Nothing..
Hand me a glock and I’ll pop something, I’m not frontin
And I step into the glowing orbs, my whole past flashes,
From the happy times through the memories of gats blastin,
They say crap happens, but I hope I left a trail of purity
Evokin spirits and spreadin good influences lyrically
My empire is gone, man I’ve never been so poor,
I need my chauffeur back so he can steer for me...
Where am I going? No road map, this is past life, past death, postmortem, by myself and lost, like a lone orphan...
[sample: NaS is Like: “But what’s it all worth? Can’t take it with you under this Earth.. Rich men died and tried, but, none of it worked.." [scratch x4]
I see my family smilin at me, but nuh.. don’t trust 'em
I see God reachin out to me, but nuh... don’t trust Him
See I was taught when I was still alive, only trust yaself
Cause gettin betrayed ain’t good for your health,
So now I’m floatin back, ether in my sight, I see a scale weighin'
Pieces of my life, I know there’s Hell waitin,
But even if I lied.. I never hailed Satan..
So I gotta have a spot somewhere better, right?
Aiight, my karma’s been calculated,
I’m sent back as a ghost of my past,
The speakers blastin' words I wrote when I was mad,
I hear the fire and smile, knowing I left my mark,
See my family crying, knowing I still had their hearts
Even if they were opposed to this rap shit from day one
I stayed numb cause I knew what I had to do, it was real,
And I see my mans and my girl crying, for the first time in years,
They old now, but I’ve become live and young
Like the way I was when I met them
This is postmortem... I still can reminisce on when I was still alive,
Relish the good times, try not to think of fears
And if I’m facin a drought, I just need to drink my tears...














and the last..
unstructured poetry
sometimes it's nice not to be restricted by rhythm and rhyme

so many broken souls
the lost souls meeting at the crossroads of time
i myself am one
i know
but
theres too many more
who have it so much worse
i am nothing
i try to be selfelss
think about others
forget my own pain
but i cant
see how many times i keep talking about "i"?
what am i?
i remember new york
i know theres pain there
here seems nice
but i know the pain here
what happens when ftw, to you, means
... the world?
stepped on
nobody cares
why?
and i see you all
ladies.. haha
heartbroken
maybe he left
maybe he changed
i know the feeling
you see,
i, too
had a love...
so sweet.. but nevermore
what happened to me was,
i moved.
3000 miles.
i still feel pain.
this is a big part
what could have been
but i need to forget about what could have been
who knows what WOULD have been
where i would be now?
failing school... foster care... homeless... dead..
i messed it up
i know
thats another part
could you imagine
having to do something
that you would regret your whole life
and knowing
that you could have stopped it?
but its not all bad
its been good
ive met some people
done some things, seen some things..
and i remember
last week
power 106
the wakeup show...
sway&tech
there was a cat there,
no, a man
who did
the most amazing freestyle..
that i have ever heard.
it had no beat
no great lyricism
no great rhytim
but
it was powerful
it was from the heart
and it put things into perspective for me
all the pain in the world...
5 seconds of hell.
you can't imagine
so.. when i feel bad
i remember this
my life is good.
maybe not as good as many peoples
but a hell of a lot bettter than at least as many.
but come on people
we need to replace that pain
... one love.